Crea Diem

Appreciation... I think that's what's missing... I miss to hear some one say: "You did really good!" or "Thank you so much!" or even better "What would I do without you?"
I miss some ones arms around me. A soft whisper in my ear!

I've noticed something about myself... I really crave attention right now! It's weird... Why now? For once I actually feel pretty good about about myself... Now, I don't claim to have a great self esteem, but for the time being, it's not all that bad!
Then how come I need more attention than I normally do? Am I afraid my confidence will go missing if other people don't back me up? That might just be the case.
It's kinda twisted though, don't you think? Our self esteem should come from inside ourselves, not by trusting others to tell us what we wanna hear. Why is it that we can't really believe something if no one else does? Are we really that weak?
Unfortunately I think the sad answer is yes. The second we accept who we really are, is the second all we know to be true will change. The insight will be overwhelming. And only then can we trust ourselves to the fullest.

When you're used to hearing certain things about yourself, you begin to trust them... When some one all of a sudden comes along and don't tell you those things the doubting begins... The questions... It's all a very odd procedure... But human I guess... Or maybe it's just me, in which case I'm weird... But somehow that's okay!!

I saw another episode of Dexter earlier to night... He went to see a phychiatrist, of course to decide whether to kill him or not, but they still had the doctor-patient-talk... The doctor spoke about how we all need to accept that every one of us has a big bad wolf inside. A big dark secret... A side of us we want no one to see. And he said, that we all just need to make our peace with the fact that it's there... Embrace it if you will... At the least acknowledge it. Maybe take it out for lunch every now and then. But we can't keep hiding it. It's part of who we are.

And that got me thinking... About whether every one has a dog buried in their back yard, so to speak. A secret we tend not to willingly share. Heaven knows I do! I bet if you think real hard, you have something too... It doesn't have to be an event, a moment... It can be something about yourself, your past or present that you don't like to speak of... If you don't... Well, good for you=)

I feel like it's time for me to start daring myself... Get a move on with my life... Do the things I wanna do before it's to late! I should really make a list=)

But right now... I have a Robert waiting ;o)

Nighty night!!