Change...

It's a funny thing this death business... We all know that any second something can happen that makes us horribly aware about our own mortality. Normally we keep on going like nothing could ever happen to us and maybe that's just a way to protect ourselves. But once something does happen, it's horrible... A few weeks back a friend of mine almost lost his life in a car crash... The awareness awakes, but maybe not for long...
Last week I leart that an acquaintance had died... I know how, but not really the circumstances which led to it. It still hasn't sunken in... I keep referning to him in a present sence. I can say the words, but my brain hasn't quite understood it yet. I had a long good talk about it today with a friend who also new him. I think both are still in shock, me the least. Anyway, while you're in the state of awareness you should try making it a habit never to part as enemies... You should never let the sun set upon an argument. Because WHAT IF... *shiver*
So to my friends and family: I love you dearly, never forget that, no matter what!

Another matter that's been hurting a bit is that I feel I momentarily lost a friend... A dear friend... Due to some changes in my life, that apparently indirectly effected her, we are now on some sort of a break... I do understand that one person's progress or victory (or whatever word you choose to use) can feel like a defeat for a someone else... I've probably been there myself at some point, but... I don't blame her, just as I know she doesn't blame me, but I miss her... And there's nothing I can do or say it seems that will make it better... I guess it's like when you break up with someone and you want to comfort that person... Deep down you know that you are the last person in the world who should be doing it because that'll only make things worse, but you just want to make things better. It's hard to watch someone you care for feel bad about themselves... The change can only come from within that person, but you just want to help... It's really frustrating...

Also Thursday I'm going to a funeral... My friends dad died a while back and I'm there as moral support... Need to get a suiting outfit, a black skirt, white shirt and maybe a black blazer... Starting thinking about such a weird thing as what color you pantyhose should be.... Black or skin colored!? There are always customs about those things although I think no one really cares... I heard somewhere that the most common question people ask before a funeral is what color the tie's suppose to be... Says a little something!

Anyone, tomorrow Daniel and me are going to IKEA!! =) Nice with a little trip! Got my new borrowed car from the work shop... And it's not just better, it's BRAND NEW, mind you! I simply love it! If I'd had the money I soooo would've bought it! Thinking about stealing it, haha!! Nah... Anyway, it's really economical, cheap to drive! Just gotta remember when I fill it up, that it's a diesel :P

Think I'll go off to bed now, gonna try to get up at seven tomorrow to do some laundry before we're off! Nighty night! =)

Searching

Sitting in my easy chair, just relaxing, listening to some Mozart!

Got back from Malmö at 4.30pm and then went for a walk with my darling Lei! Yesterday while on the bus to Värnhem I realized that we've now known each other for ten years. Can you believe it?? Ten whole years! I think it just keeps getting better and better.
Friday we went for a stroll in Malmö and wound up having coffee at Victor's at Lilla Torg, soooo cosy! And then today in Karlskrona! First a walk around town and then we went to her place, drinking tea och talking. Spilling our guts out! Although I think this time it was mainly me talking, sharing my issues. Point is, we always have these really great talks. We've been through so much together! <3

Took the day off Friday and went down to Malmö... Things didn't quite turn out the way I planned, but it was still okay! I checked out the new shopping mall and Värnhem, Entré... Could've spent hours there, but didn't quite have the time. Next time though, I'm going to do some serious shopping! :P Saturday night I Marie, myself and Emelie had a girls'-night-in. Wasn't really in the mood for partying anyway, so it came perfectly. Had I been home, I probably would've gone out though! Longing for X-mas day! Marie and I are partying our asses off :P Already decided, haha!

I've been on the roll for a while now and felt so damned good, but lately it feels like things are standing still... My motivation seem to be stuck on hold... My intense willpower have decreased and... I don't know!! I can't quite put it into words... Trying to hold on to the people who make me happy! Lei completely made my day today and Tuesday Daniel and I are having a horror-movie-night :D Really looking forward to it. I like his company a lot! He's really... Sweet and down to earth! And his little girls, o.m.g, they're the sweetest! You can't do anything but love them!!! =)
Friday Frida is coming for another gamer's week end! These things should really keep my mood up! =) Guess I'm just a bit tired! New week tomorrow, new possibilities.

Think I'll go make myself some tea...