I'll have a happiest B-day!

Jaha, imorgon gäller det... De stora tjugofem... E lite excited även om det inte händer speciellt mycket just imorgon! Har haft två riktigt bra dagar måste jag säga!

Igår var jag nere hos Christine och käkade lunch. Sån underbar vårdag, fixa käk ihop o sitta med vårsolen strilandes genom rutan. Prata... Så underbart! Sen en tripp in till stan, följde med Christine på hennes ärenden och sen möta upp Monica. Hon flyttar ju snart så det var dags att börja planera packning och allt annat som medföljer. Tyvärr är jag ju uppbokad just den helgen hon flyttar, ska iväg till Göteborg, men jag har lovat att hjälpa henne packa o städa under veckans gång och sedan hjälpa henne att packa upp och fixa i den nya lägenheten.

Kvällen bestod av en liten biljarddejt med Sven. Så jäääkla trevligt. Känns verkligen som vi hittat tillbaka till varandra igen. Samma våglängd liksom. Visst, vi lever helt totalt olika liv, men vi har ändå alltid en massa att prata om, nutid, framtid och dåtid. Så mycket minnen.. Alltid lika roligt. Lite synd bara att han inte är hemma nu i helgen, men vi ska ses till påsk igen=) Blir ju inte så ofta nu när han bor i Lund, men man får ta vara på de tillfällena som ges. Vi har ju liksom alltid haft varandra och det kommer fortsätta så, det vet jag.

Idag har också varit en riktigt bra dag. Började dagen med ett samtal från Robert, sen ett samtal från en dam som erbjöd mig jobb. Ringde snabbt upp chefen för att konfirmera att jag faktiskt ska börja jobba snart igen, så det vara bara att ringa upp damen och tacka nej. Kändes sååååå bra!! Sen var det dags för lite Power Yoga. Fick sån energi så det var sanslöst. Underbart! In till stan och träffa Peter. Vi tog en lååång fika på TreG, his treat (thanks hun), och bara satt och pratade om allt och inget. Alternativ medicin var ett av de längre samtalsämnena. Vi har lika värderingar verkar det som. Efter fikat gick vi runt på stan lite och kollade på bokrean. Funderade på att köpa en bok jag haft tidigare, men som nu är spårlöst försvunnen. Struntade i det idag, men jag kommer nog att inhandla den så småningom. Kan inte förklara varför den är speciell, men... När Olof åkte iväg till Spanien och det tog slut mellan oss så hade han skrivit ner några rader ur den boken som han gav mig. Var ju bara tvungen att köpa hela boken. Den är tröstande, även för de som inte är speciellt inne på området. Jag till exempel. Peter köpte iaf två böcker. En om husbygge och sen Svenska sångboken. =)

Imorgon tänkte jag iaf åka en runda till jobbet och hälsa på pojkarna. Tar med mig lite fika och sen meddela att jag dyker upp tisdagen den första april, fit for fight! Ska bli kul att träffa dem igen! Middag med mamma på kvällen... Måste ju hitta på någonting på den stora dagen, även om allt firande blir på lördag.

Nu kom visst tröttheten smygande över mig.. Bäst att man vilar lite i tid ikväll kanske, tänkte upp och göra Yoga imorgon igen så man kommer igång!!

Har bestämt att det ska bli en riktigt bra födelsedag=)

Friendship

Friendship.. Now there's a word to define! I'm sure it means different things to different people. Maybe it's someone to call on sunday afternoons. Maybe it's someone to have a drink and a dance with. Maybe it's just someone you say Hi to in the streets. Like I said there's a variety of definitions.

To me however it is much more than the above printed sentences. Of course, they are all included, but that's far from all. There are three things, or elements if you like, that are the basics. There is laughter. There is crying... And last, but certainly not least, there's silence. To me that means, if not more, the beginning of a good and healthy friendship. You laugh together and you cry together. But the fact that you can also hang without saying a single word and it's not awkward, means a great deal. I actually find those kinds of relationships fairly rare. Besides those basics, there are also the obvious things such as trust, loyalty, humbleness, honesty and respect.

Now I've had my fair share of lousy friendships... Absolutely. There have been betrayals and lies. Lots of them. Alot of hurt in other words, and I've learnt I have to watch my back. I'm fully aware that I can be a bit naiv sometimes... or maybe that's not quite the right word for it, but I tend to give people far more chances than they deserve on the cost of my mental health so to speak. Now I don't claim at all to be some flawless, perfect "bestest buddy", we all make mistakes, but the bottom line is: I try! I try my very best to be a good friend. And honestly, most of the time I succeed. Sometimes I find it really hard though. You try to be there for someone in need, but they won't let you in. They say they don't trust anybody at all. Well... That could be true. But I don't see how anyone can live like that. I think it's like they say; Trust people, but always lock your car. That about sums it up I think. You shouldn't put all of your trust in someone, not to a hundered percent, but you have to give to gain, right!? Trust isn't something that you just get, it's something you earn. And I do think it's a bit unfair not to try. Everybody deserve the benefit of a doubt, before judged. I try to live by that, since that's what I hope and expect people will provide me with. Now I know, still waters run deep. And wounds can take a hell of a long time to heal. But you shouldn't let your new friends pay for hurts someone else caused.

I sat the other day, overviewing the people in my life at the moment. I realized that all of my best friends I met in upper secondary school. I also thought about the friends I no longer see, for one reason or another and also how people run in and out your life, if just for a brief second. The busdriver, the lady by the register at the local supermarket... A doctor... All these people have an impact on you, wether you acknowledge it or not. It might not be a big one, but it's still there.

I consider myself a lucky person. I have a bunch of good friends and a lot of acquaintances. Almost all my presently good friends are a group of people that I seriously think will be life long companions (corny, I know, and that in a completely platonic sence). There's Sabina... And Emelie, Marie, Christine, Mattias, Frida, Sven, Monica, Peter, Charlotte, Fia, Jeanette, whom I've known eight-nine years now. And there are new friends, which I hope will stay... Marie for instance. There are a lot of people I used to be really close to wich are now.. well, I can't say they're just acquaintances, cause that would be an understatement, but friends I don't see as much as I used to. There's Anja, Catrin, Dennis, Dick, Wallther, Caroline, Josefina, Veronica... Well these are just a few. So yes, I consider myself really lucky to have been chosen by them to be their friend. You mean a great deal to me!!

It just so happens that one of my best friends is moving. Far far away! It's pretty painful actually. He's moving across the Atlantic and to be frank, even though I certaily hope this is not the case, I don't know wether I'll ever see him again. I've never had to say good bye to a person not knowing if we'll ever be face to face again. I'm sure gonna miss him! When you're about to "lose" someone you always start thinking about the times you shared... First time you met. First time you spoke and so on... I actually remember this with Peter and I cherish it. I even think I at some point in the beginning had a little crush on him (ssshh, don't tell him I said so ;o) Anyway... If we really are meant to be friends, we will overcome the obsticles of distances! I know it! I hope he'll be happy over there! He deserves it!

Yeah well.... just a brief description of a very tiny part of my way of minds!

Nighty night!

Feeling good!

Weekend again! I'm totally beat and it's just nine thirty... I feel really good about myself and things today! Finished the dreaded work of landscape ecology today, finally! I'm so releaved! Sent it off to Ingemar for him to read on Monday as he gets in to work. I sure hope he'll read it straight away, I wanna get the results a.s.a.p.

Anders called me yesterday and I was so happy I started jumping up and down after we hung up. He called to make sure I hadn't forgotten about him and the other guys, and I said that that's not very likely to've happened. Thought I'd bringe some cake or something and go out there net week! I really miss it!! I've hade a few dreams about the fridge though, not plesant at all...

So, I've booked the apartment for next Saturday. I think we'll be about sixteen. Just family, still waiting for reply from Fia about girls' night in and dressing up- fancy-dinner thingie. But anyway... Sixteen is more than enough, when it's just family. And then... As the best birthday gift, Sabina is coming! =) I was so happy when she told me!! I sure miss her! Had such a blast when she was here! My little sweetheart!

And tomorrow's game night!! Looking forward to it. Not sure how many'll show up yet, but six is the lowest number. It's me, Christine, Peter, Marie, Tomas and Angelica. I've asked Fia, Sven and through Birgit, also Jenni. But that's not for sure yet. So I've got the entire day for cleaning tomorrow... Hope it'll be worth the while :P

Now my neck is hurting and can barely feel my legs any longer... Time to strech some!!

Night!

YAAAAY, GAAAAY!!

It's completely unbe-fucking-lievable... Haven't we gotten any further than this?? Sometimes I'm really ashamed of being a human being. The way we treat each other... So horrible! No compassion, no undertanding, no respect. And we're supposed to be the superior spicies.

I saw a flick of an Operah episode earlier, called Gay around the world. Many guest, amongst others a prince of India who came out last year. He is now threatened to lose his throne on having dishonored his family and Inidia in whole. A lesbian Jamaican poet who got attacked and raped in her own home because of her sexuality. She fled to the U.S. Some NBA-star who came out four years after he retired from basket ball. He made his choise of coming out while being at a pridefestival in England and saw Sir. Ian McKellen sitting in a pink cadillack=)

They all seemed to be so wonderfully proud of themselves, exactly as it should be. They all faught for human rights, in all its sentances.

I can't believe we let fear and religion come in the way of human rights. There are still countries in the world where homosexuality is punishable by life time in prison or even death. Not gonna let myself get worked up by the death penalty, cause then you'll be reading for several hours.

I just don't understand why we can't accept it? Some people are gay... It's not hurting anybody, it's not some weird contagious disease... It's just feelings. Nothing more nothing less. It's love. Between two consenting people. How is that somebody elses business?

There was this part where a woman spoke about development concerning these issues in different parts of the world, and it turns out that Scandinavia, specifically mentioned Sweden, is one of the most gay-accepting areas in the world and that they should all follow our example. At least that makes me a little a proud! =)