Friendship.. Now there's a word to define! I'm sure it means different things to different people. Maybe it's someone to call on sunday afternoons. Maybe it's someone to have a drink and a dance with. Maybe it's just someone you say Hi to in the streets. Like I said there's a variety of definitions.
To me however it is much more than the above printed sentences. Of course, they are all included, but that's far from all. There are three things, or elements if you like, that are the basics. There is laughter. There is crying... And last, but certainly not least, there's silence. To me that means, if not more, the beginning of a good and healthy friendship. You laugh together and you cry together. But the fact that you can also hang without saying a single word and it's not awkward, means a great deal. I actually find those kinds of relationships fairly rare. Besides those basics, there are also the obvious things such as trust, loyalty, humbleness, honesty and respect.
Now I've had my fair share of lousy friendships... Absolutely. There have been betrayals and lies. Lots of them. Alot of hurt in other words, and I've learnt I have to watch my back. I'm fully aware that I can be a bit naiv sometimes... or maybe that's not quite the right word for it, but I tend to give people far more chances than they deserve on the cost of my mental health so to speak. Now I don't claim at all to be some flawless, perfect "bestest buddy", we all make mistakes, but the bottom line is: I try! I try my very best to be a good friend. And honestly, most of the time I succeed. Sometimes I find it really hard though. You try to be there for someone in need, but they won't let you in. They say they don't trust anybody at all. Well... That could be true. But I don't see how anyone can live like that. I think it's like they say; Trust people, but always lock your car. That about sums it up I think. You shouldn't put all of your trust in someone, not to a hundered percent, but you have to give to gain, right!? Trust isn't something that you just get, it's something you earn. And I do think it's a bit unfair not to try. Everybody deserve the benefit of a doubt, before judged. I try to live by that, since that's what I hope and expect people will provide me with. Now I know, still waters run deep. And wounds can take a hell of a long time to heal. But you shouldn't let your new friends pay for hurts someone else caused.
I sat the other day, overviewing the people in my life at the moment. I realized that all of my best friends I met in upper secondary school. I also thought about the friends I no longer see, for one reason or another and also how people run in and out your life, if just for a brief second. The busdriver, the lady by the register at the local supermarket... A doctor... All these people have an impact on you, wether you acknowledge it or not. It might not be a big one, but it's still there.
I consider myself a lucky person. I have a bunch of good friends and a lot of acquaintances. Almost all my presently good friends are a group of people that I seriously think will be life long companions (corny, I know, and that in a completely platonic sence). There's Sabina... And Emelie, Marie, Christine, Mattias, Frida, Sven, Monica, Peter, Charlotte, Fia, Jeanette, whom I've known eight-nine years now. And there are new friends, which I hope will stay... Marie for instance. There are a lot of people I used to be really close to wich are now.. well, I can't say they're just acquaintances, cause that would be an understatement, but friends I don't see as much as I used to. There's Anja, Catrin, Dennis, Dick, Wallther, Caroline, Josefina, Veronica... Well these are just a few. So yes, I consider myself really lucky to have been chosen by them to be their friend. You mean a great deal to me!!
It just so happens that one of my best friends is moving. Far far away! It's pretty painful actually. He's moving across the Atlantic and to be frank, even though I certaily hope this is not the case, I don't know wether I'll ever see him again. I've never had to say good bye to a person not knowing if we'll ever be face to face again. I'm sure gonna miss him! When you're about to "lose" someone you always start thinking about the times you shared... First time you met. First time you spoke and so on... I actually remember this with Peter and I cherish it. I even think I at some point in the beginning had a little crush on him (ssshh, don't tell him I said so ;o) Anyway... If we really are meant to be friends, we will overcome the obsticles of distances! I know it! I hope he'll be happy over there! He deserves it!
Yeah well.... just a brief description of a very tiny part of my way of minds!
Nighty night!
